Twitter: LIVE

Friday, October 3, 2008

In No Way Does Pwneonta Endorse Ponies.

DO NOT BE DECEIVED BY FALSE ADVERTISING. Although the State Times front-page blurb was entitled "Pony Up," this site in no way endorses or supports little horses. In fact, ponies are stupid. They serve no purpose - you can't ride them or make glue out of them. Ponies are not the least bit bad-ass, and horses barely make it. Maybe if it were one of those centaurs from Fantasia, I'd let it slide. Centaurs are bad-ass because they are docile when left alone, but if you provoke them, they go crazy on you. (They can punch with their arms, so it makes them twice as lethal.)

Speaking of mythical creatures, our school mascot is lame. When I think of a dragon, images of fiery destruction and awesomeness come to mind. This bullshit has to stop:

OMGGGG SO SCAREDZZ!!! I would hate to be a rival school, facing a mascot as terrifying as our cute n' cuddly red dragon. Until someone can come up with a new, better dragon, I have been secretly drafting a new mascot. It combines the best of mythical creatures, while not succumbing to the cute and cuddly-ness that our dumb dragon has fallen for.

BEHOLD!



Yes, it is a fuckin minotaur. Yes, he has school spirit tats. 100% bad-ass.

6 comments:

  1. hey, if you or anyone else knows web design, be my guest. drop me an email and we'll talk.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dude this article is hilarious, but please take that minotaur off the top banner.

    I agree we need to spruce the place up a bit, but don't let that pressure you to do it badly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahahahaha. the "don't fuck w/ us" picture is great. and yes, that is one bad-ass minotaur mascot.

    ReplyDelete
  4. i've always said the red dragon mascot is the lamest dragon ever. it's got big anime eyes and a drooling smile on its face. give it some teeth!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. so are we now the Oneonta Minotaurs... lol that is one badass pic.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Minotaur? Oh yes, I can work with that >:D

    I don't have too much of an issue with the red dragon mascot... but they need to pick a consistent design for the poor creature! Worst one, I think, is the duck dragon on the closet curtains.

    ReplyDelete